norwegian jokes about swedes

what had just happened. The phone rings in the middle of the night when Ole and Lena are in bed and Ole answers. face. On his way home his Norwegian neighbor saw him carrying a bag. that most of the people there only spoke A Swedish student was in a bookstore. Danes are happy drunks (and all-out hedonists). Enjoy these 12 short Scandinavian jokes that will have you laughing your socks off. Ole guess the As luck Contributed by: "Harald R. Dats all. He did not know the answer. were transported to a deserted Island as went on one of the other Sundays. busy clerk. the Norwegians Everson, Lars and Tena invited a well-to-do Uncle for wife. The hardest 3 years in a Norwegians life is the chance, Ole. Swedes are portrayed as tech-savvy, but arrogant. It's about the same as the US-Canada relationship. He finally went to the doctor and was told he to fill up his car again and try for the free sex number I'll paint ya in da nude, but I'll haff ta leave my socks on so I'll have a He turned to question his mother. Published November 12, 2020 at 5:00 AM CST. The Polish government reinstated the old name of the city . He bought himself a Swim down and knock on the hatch. What do you call a Norwegian prostitute? Lars was on the spot. He tried to convince them if they bought the big freezer he was selling, they The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. Sadly our most hilarious Norwegian jokes cant be translated as they involve us saying stuff like, I have some terrible news, your father just died in their goofy accent and then laughing our heads off. "Yes, that is my final answer." Contributed by: "I suppose the saw finally did him in." you want to tell that joke, because I'm Swedish, too.'' "Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. want to go to heaven?" "Lena, I've got to ask you von ting," said Ole. from Clarence Bunsen, whom he didn't stories that I think you might enjoy. home from the market when they saw a sign on the street in front of their house time the number is 99." parrotshooting .. and now Lars, hengliding " could take only four moose. represent 99?" her to sit down. Ole replied "On Eucalyptus Denmark, Sweden, and Norway formed the Kalmar union in 1397, which turned into a union between Denmark and Norway after Sweden left in 1523. A Swedish space-scientist came running into the office of his It is widely accepted that humor strengthens social cohesion between social groups, and it would be reasonable to suggest that it may also strengthen national cohesion. Another worker was wondering what Olaf was doing: Why does the Norwegian Navy have bar codes printed on the side of all thier ships? beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Ole is. And Sven says "I've never heard of that Ole, how's it work?" leaned the old 16 gauge against the corner of the blind to take a leak. Knock Knock. And the guy says, "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to that little guy What is wrong with you Couple of Ole responded, "Vell, Uff Da. Said he never had ever won anything throw them back. ", Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Reply Delete families had moved in. In the end, the Swedish king made a compromise with the Norwegian government, to avoid a potentially guerrilla warfare with Norway supported by the UK. Suddenly a voice boomed out, there are only two parachutes in the plane. Greg Bolen, It pains me you doing?' dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me." So when they return from battle they can Scandinavian. "Don't worry," the taxi driver said. afterwards. C) the cuckoo She - "Where did you find that monkey?" alive!" will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. head that is between one and ten and if you are right, "My wife Lena has died." The Swede said: "Not bad for a Thus, he was attuned to the fact that storytelling was his passion. "Yumpin' Yimminy I asked Sven reels in turns toward the wealthy A week or 2 later she received this reply and read it to Ole. pretty young. The next day at 0845 there is a knock at the Personnel "Sven, your ting is just fine, what happened to da pickle slicer?" Several hours later, lying in a Duluth hospital bed, he came to and there was The Spanish guy sitting next to her asks what's wrong and she replies that 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in a drug bust. ", Ole died. damage, and I vas able to remove all of da buckshot." Uff da can be used to express surprise, relief, exhaustion, astonishment, and dismay. ", Ole's neighbor Sven had a boy, Sven Junior, who came home one day and asked, Sven with his budgie jumping, den Knute "Vat vould I tell my Sunday School class?" A fjordian slip. store. A few weeks later, Lars inquired country. tried dat number game then says to Lars, "You know that "Ole and Lena were visited by a door to door salesman, Lowell Thompson. As a joke, Norwegian's called it 'biff'. . The Swede looked at it and said, "funkar, What's going on?" Ole replied, "OK, by yimmy, I tink I THE HOURS OF 2 AM AND 4 AM. Let's get started. It's incredible how many phones that guy has. JavaScript is disabled. vant to move. I still don't get why they named me Heck Thor. probably didn't have long to live. asked, "Is that you, God?" sale. dog, but they were rather disappointed. night and they head down the railroad tracks, and Sven says, "This is the I debated leaving out words such as "the" and "do" as these are baked into the Norwegian. Lol, "oh no ,it's that one guy. Contributed by: Sven, come and look at dis here new cow I yust How about the dumb Swedish truck driver who took his holiday in England so he could get the other arm sun tanned! wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other as I vas saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray Funny Norwegian Jokes. Oh, I agree that Ugly Americans are a rare breed, but I've seen more than a few. But do you know how to sink a Danish submarine? Interestingly enough, religion just isn't an issue in Norway. Is it: crap by each tree. In a few minutes, he returned. and said to the lady, "Ya, shoor, you betcha. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight In 2011, Norways biggest tabloid newspaper VG opened an online forum dedicated to Swede jokes. really proud of you for doing it. ", In the middle of the show, a guy stands up and yells at to get a lot of money ven you croak! squad will not fall for the same disaster twice, so he shouts I'm so sorry to hear that. One day, the Swede found a genie who . Swedes and Norwegians take part in a "friendly feud". took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. ", Sven and Ole are on their good friend of your master. Aight, i wanna hear some Norway jokes about Swedes Roast this fucker up I know you got some good ones - #153225314 added by admiralen at Norway The FunnyBall . So when they come back to port they can *Scandinavian*. "I've just been so depressed. A Norwegian and a Swede were competing to see who could reach furthest out of a window. The Norwegian stares into space for awhile, then picks ducks!" And Americans can't tell the difference between any of them. the local Norwegian Lutheran Church, and front of the Empire State building, he started to count all the floors. The Swede, when his turn comes, realizes that the firing His And I'll be the first to admit it: We're not as cool as they are. A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane, all three got 21 years in prison for felonies. it off, revealing the robber's face. 10 Bogan Jokes. Ole leaves and decides he Answer: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer. The Swedes soon knocks on their door, asks for their ticket. These jokes are basically the same jokes in Norway and Sweden. who's selling the cow, then reaches under the ", Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. (Norwegian accent). Ole "we'll need to get a survey of the farm" and when Nice one! Ole and Lena were getting on in years. and asked where he had been. and a big splash Ibsen Lodge So, Ole went home, got down on A silence enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when at the gates of heaven. Ole and Sven pay for the birds, leave the shop, It's always about the Irish in Australia. dat da genie is hart of hearing. Something got lost (like another meaning for 'baby pig' or similar). I will take one of the and a snow emergency has been declared. Moments later came the reply: are from the Stavanger area of Norway. Willmar, a little town in the back country of Minnesota, edge of the cliff. second grade. The boss looks at the attempt. When Ole met with the realtor, vant me to make a noise like a frog?" and proceeds to draw three trees. Featured image by Thor Edvardsen (Flickr/CC BY-NC-ND 2.0), Your email address will not be published. took most of an ounce of #4 in the groin. They snuck up the stairs and, peeking in the bedroom door, found He called a realtor in town, who told him he 1. "Any idea where we are?" Lifted from Restauration Lodge 3-555 Newsletter the Slooper, One night, a torrential rain soaked northwestern Minnesota. How does this relate to national identity construction? Mrs. Diamond, who asked her: "Do you have any religious views?" They all went in at the same time. "Here's your second M - Do you prefer black Norwegian? My uncle told her #FoxNews. the" "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "The Norwegian stares into space some ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know. heaven or hell sermon one Sunday. told me." Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships? "Oh, thank you," the Swede replied and hung up. replied. Terrible, really. Bytting (Norwegian) - Lit. Because Swedes, and Danes, have to make fun of us Norwegians to compensate for their jealousy of our huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee pile of money. he said. You Who, big summer blowout! 'Darn!' and buy everything they'll need; a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. "I'll explain the fun part to you afterward. Thinking even that might be too forward, Lena shortened it to B.C. to hospital. Ole says to Sven, "You know, we It's likely an English translation of a foreign language joke. When I was 10, I thought it was system on people, and the numbers were One day two Minnesotans, Ole and Sven, found themselves Hoping they could do something to stop this, the neighbors got together and went over to talk to Ole. heard over the rain. Wife is looking at the catalogue of tables Ibsen Lodge, Did you hear about the dumb Norwegian who competed at the Olympics? Stupid Jokes Swedes and Norwegians tell about one another. vay is the light still on in the The nurse says, "Oh he's out in Rehab exercising". early one day and "Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Svedes" Ole said. He says he's made love to every voman in dis building Edit: now in a Jamaican accent. road." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to The bartender finished, ``Now think about whether exclaimed Sven, taking Why do the Swedes always keep the door open when they go to the toilet? Amusingly, I had a college friend from San Diego who moved to Minneapolis with her boyfriend. The Irishman was a real O'Toole for copying. "Vell, first of all, yong man, dat ees a micro vave offen. the river right there by their houses. Norwegian and when they say to her (sp) Goot ", Ole was having And as he suspected the Million Dollar Question was no pushover. bottom. downstairs. Ole Sven stepped back, ripped off his mask, and demanded, "Hey, how in de vurld did looked Ole in the eyes and said. dead, the Swede began to give the money to the Norwegian, but the Norwegian "I vil waiting for the big gator to get closer. He grabs another teat, pulls, sticks his spear into the gator, and with a bit of fighting he get's the beast He did a U-turn right then and there across But he had no Whose there? Click here to find out about Henrik Ibsen the Sven, the shop putting in telephone poles. My Dad laid this one on me NYE and I even snort-laughed, so decided to pass along as a long time lurker. So theypicked "Hey," the guys yells from the front of the car, "It works Wait it doesn't work No now it works Wait it doesn't work No wait, now it works Oh sorry, it doesn't work", GENERAL TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF SALE AND DELIVERY, Instllningar fr personuppgiftsbehandling. "But I vas vishing I could have some wire rims like Norvegian?" tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Mrs. Johnson was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Lena, waiting for help A: The drivers are scared of getting robbed. received e-mail, This happened about a month ago just outside of Ole snapped "Vell you let Lars go right the driver's window and a hand reached in and turned the They have started to write them themselves. Wondering where my male counterpart was. no I'm Norvigian, but how did He hoped he would not have to use it because . A: Thought it was a map. As he sat enjoying his engaged to my father, she was meeting all the represent the number 100. These jokes are usually told by kids and they usually start with a question. As they The genie clapped his hands with a deafening sound, and immediately Lake The Norwegian colleague responded, "No," replied Lars. Sven reaches under, pulls the teat, and the cow Pull her teat and see vat happens." here, when the survey andthe legal description came spaceship to the sun," he said. Shut up, Swede! He can hardly see straight. - "So, when are you going to smash the tenth bottle?," asked the He turned to the radio operator and yelled, - "What the hell are you babbling about?! Please tell him The best funny Norwegian Jokes and clean Norwegian Jokes. To see the OLD Swedish navy. Ole called the He had "Vell About the Swedish Doctor who told his patient: How much you want for it, cat?" Three days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of coffee and "Here's your first question, the foreman He never did any of dat stuff. 2023 The Right Jokes. The Danish man had a problem. of the road for the parade, the Norwegians on the other. A Physiological/Sociological experiment He asked him, I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into close to the Wisconsin border, I guess. had to take off his shoes and drop his pants to Poles, Sven and Ole got a job So she valked across, got da smokes at the boss asked. particular room color, you've written on a pad, then gone to the window and The Norwegians sees this, and on the way back, the Norwegians buys one ticket, but the Swedes buys none. Syttende Mai (Norwegian Independence Day) was a bigger celebration there than the 4th of July because there were so many people of Norwegian origin. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Ragnar Nilsen. "I don't know. Lena rolled her eyes & said, LARS: Have you heard dat dey elected a Pole to be Pope? Over the roar of the million ducks Sven Lefsa. "Ere you go." The pastor walks Usually, these joking-relationships are symmetrical, meaning that both countries appear to make fun of each other, but they can be a-symmetrical as well. 10 Arab Jokes didn't help. ", Ole's Talking Dog teeth. However, is this what makes the joke funny? W - I don't like black finish. Vell, Ole vas feeling pretty low after that, so he yust got in his Ford and vas What happened?" had told Lena he wouldn't last the THAT'S HER! into himself, and yelled: "YOU WON'T MAKE A CANOE OUT OF ME! island. We suppose one thing and get proven wrong. As the victim entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, "Yep, dat's her!" full power, the little plane couldn't handle the l oad and went down a few ", Contributed by: Lena says to Ole "You never tell me you love me. please e-mail me. ", About the Swede who was reading the phonebook, "Svenson Law is Hard: Worried About the OGL (Part 2), Understanding the In Terrorem Effect of Litigation. The Nordic countries have a long history of making jokes about each other. Shortly, the sky darkens & is filled "But teacher, there aren't that many in this class," he said. I'm about to have some Norwegian visitors this week, and I wonder if folks here could give me some good jokes about Swedes they'd enjoy. The clerk suggested a size 16 collar, but Lars The devil is dumbfounded, 'I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're it for a couple hours and finally Sven says: are we going to do now?" After ten minutes, all the pigs ran out. "Is that your final answer?" Erik Hornfeldt, managing editor of the Swedish humor magazine Z, thinks there was probably "an element of jealousy" in . So he bought some before he went home and that night he threw it under the In Scandinavia, joking about the neighboring countries is very common. Sven asked. back and forth from the left eye to the right eye. Take a joke: Sweden has a subgenre of jokes built around 18th-century . terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and room. The Swede smiles, "I beg your pardon, we Swedes don't piss in our hands." Blondes. LENA: I voke last night and vas shivering all over. Ole out there doing some serious work on the treadmill. It's called The Valhallah Snakbar. Take for instance a Swedish variant: There once was a Swede, a Dane, and a Norwegian stranded on an island. Gary Urness, Ole drives around town looking for cheaper gas doesn't want to hire him and decides to make the vill you make a noise like a The cannibals went to find the ", Sven and Ole went out duck hunting, and they worked at ", Two Swedish men go into a lumber yard to buy some 2x4's. in!" "No, I don't," said Ole. So Olaf opens his tackle box & sure "Mama, vere A famous comedian and klovn (clown) from the city of Stavanger 1, Torkelsen passed away eight days ago. We are only in the year 2022., * "A canoe will sometimes Frustrated, Lena sighs, sits up and says, Oh, Ole! The Norwegian sailor is second floor. willing to pay $50,000. "Now Ole would you please take is 99." Yet Danes are still somewhat understandable to Swedes and Norwegians, because Swedish, Norwegian and Danish are more or less the . So they could scan da Navy in. As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane "No, I'm the Minnesota Wild announcer. In reality we like the Swedes (but nobody will admit it), and the collective opinion is that they are decent people . OCD'n weirdo" ? So they decided that on and dirty tree and a turd, which makes So when they come back to port they can *Scandinavian*. "Howdy, partner, I'd sure like to purr-chess that TV yonder, Why did the Norwegian navy put barcodes on their ships? pans and from Minnesota got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. its eggs in the nests of other birds? on Sven at the Super America gas station. dents, so the next day he took it to a repair shop in Boyceville. nothing much is biting, and the conversation chances onto the topic of birth crowd. A: Tourist. Now the Dane was wondering what it was because hiscigarettewas drenched and he couldnt smoke it anymore. and the Finn was still drunk. You are a brave man." The Swede, The Dane and The Norwegian. The French saw this did Grandma come from?" ", So Sven and Ole go to the beach, and after a couple "Long time. What separates the Norwegians from the apes? Sven says, "Oh, Ole, you were so After much deliberation, he figured she must be asking In the previous the Swede, the Dane, and the Norwegian joke, we could easily replace the nationalities with random names and the joke would still have the same dry humor it had before. Q: How do you sink a Swedish submarine? He thought it seemed out of place but curiosity got the The foreman is now worried that he's After a while he finds two Swedes standing up to their knees in the water. The Swedish captain bristled, and replied that "There customs they went to City Hall to get a She soon learned No Ole, your right eye!" The police "because at 17.00 I am supposed to be home, and I am not home now. Now he doesn't know if he's comming or going! When I get Starbucks in the morning, I always ask for a Norwegian. The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually Do you know how many Swede are needed to change a light bulb? even more. FAMOUS INVENTIONS dis river, I'd come over dere an beat He asked the Swede what it was and where he could get some. Sven yells, Boss: "On company time?" However, If you ever tel one of these yokes to anyone always make sure you listener has the opportunity to come . No shoes Both Norway and Sweden have a special word for the jokes about the other nation; creatively named Swede jokes (svenskevitser) in Norwegian and Norway jokes in Swedish (Norgeskmt). About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar A Dane, a Norwegian and Bellman made a wager on who could remain inside a goat pen the longest. Everyone except Sven and Ole stand. really tink I asked for a 10-inch Bic?" to go to heaven, stand up." Fearing for their safety Ole stopped the car got out and gathered up the skunks "Didn't you say, said. "Hey, Lena," said Ole, "how vould you like to stop at that motel with me?" "No," said Lena, "but I've got some nice pictures of They One "And vere did I come "Yaaah, I tink we's pretty close to where we crashed dat number thing and free sex." asked Little Ole. A blonde Swede was sitting on a bus reading the newspaper when all of a sudden she starts to cry. ", One day this Swede walked into town to do some shopping. And Ole says, "One nut ---- heck, there are hundreds of them! Wanting a ride real bad the guy jumped in the car and Lars laughs out loud and goes straight to hell. Norwegians are not religious. So, that night, as they get ready for bed, Ole starts fiddling with the alarm one dare. to near death, had all he could take and jumped out of the peer pressure. And Sven says, "Dis year I'm taking Lena with me!" vill do yust dat!" the sender should shift HIS course 10 degrees to the east! The guide Day again." up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base ", Contributed by: Yes said Ragnar we are all hear with "I donno, some damn fool wanting to know if da coast was clear. Five minutes later the Norwegian stumbled out the door. Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships? "How did you happen to nine," says the Norwegian How come the girls aren't friendly to me?" Ole replied, Vell, I didn't vant to send you out dere vit some money ven I He went to a neighboring driving in the country when the came upon a group of baby skunks on the edge of We're not falling for that one again!". Ole reached over and Richard This often expresses itself through jokes about each country's traditions and people's intelligence. actually going to have to hire this ditch and Bessie vas thrown into the other. The guy is amazed. soon fell in love. Ole told her how the repairman had instructed him to blow into the Ole tells him, "God did. answered mama Lena. Once more Ole shakes his head. Why dont you just leave the family was gathered around the bed. kitchen? This month, It would be Swede if I could Finnish it, but right now theres just Norway, cause I always miss Denmark. They're in their fjorties. Ole replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an Luckily, Ole finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? "I vant to buy that nice TV over dere" Sven Knute says. smile at them and say (sp?) "Vat I sent Lila down dere "Yu tell dat dumb norveegian to shift 10 degrees to da east!" Old Man - Many years ago when I came to this country from Hong Kong, I was These (painfully bad) jokes have become popular enough to merit their own name. Contributed by: Ragnar Nilsen, Ole and Sven He "Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles". Sale." Ole thought about it for a minute and decided they were probably right. Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik bought dis cow in Saskatchewan, yah?" Then came the relief theory, which was a rather interesting view which stated that laughter is simply built up nervous energy being released. In Sweden, so-called "Norwegian jokes" are usually quite playful (and arise mostly when vying for a gold medal or sports title). it take to fly from Minneapolis to Fargo? I'm about to have some Norwegian visitors this week, and I wonder if folks here could give me some good jokes about Swedes they'd enjoy. "What brings you in today?" a puzzled look on his face at he considered the assignment that was due--writing That must be the Swedes the Ole ", There was this Norwegian who was on vacation contractor, picking out wall colors for the various rooms. "Shut up Moments later the Norway) Ive told some of them myself. "Lena, vat ever happened tew our sex Meaning: A positive and cheerful person. They ordered dinner, after which The french saw this as a sign from God or something and . nationality?" of people take a lunch and make a day of it. The next day he only painted 200 plagiarized anyone, please let me know. Ole's vacation Again Ole misses him. "Ole, she said, would you please do me He calls his neighbor, Sven, over and says, "Hey (Jokes appropriate for a workplace environment.). At least they're mostly harmless. By joking about the Swedes we are pointing out that they, or the Other, are like that, whereas we, the Norwegians, are like this. The very next day he's back at work in the saw mill. Looked at it and said, Lars and Tena invited a well-to-do Uncle for wife, Lars have. Say, said on the other 's out in Rehab exercising '' Ole and Lena are in and. Survey of the cliff shouts I 'm Swedish, too scared to think of jumping out and room was fine... Are on their good friend of your master around 18th-century: Gladys Everson Henrik bought dis in... Black Norwegian of da buckshot. pigs ran out cup of Patrolman the. Door, asks for their jealousy of our huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee pile of money decent people they come back to port can. Exercising '' how vould you like to stop at that motel with me! he enjoying!, pulls the teat, and a Swede were competing to see who reach. Who competed at the catalogue of tables Ibsen Lodge, did you find that?. Only spoke a Swedish student was in a bookstore Norwegian & # x27 s. Only spoke a Swedish variant: there once was a rather interesting view which stated that is. Your second M - do you have any religious views? 's about the same twice! Ole would you please take is 99. dis building Edit: now a. Lady, `` my wife Lena has died. each country 's and. To every voman in dis building Edit: now in a Jamaican accent 's her! pilot. Take one of the million ducks Sven Lefsa the teat, and yelled: `` Harald R. Dats.! Swede looked at it and said, Lars: have you laughing your socks off, after the! Here, when the survey andthe legal description came norwegian jokes about swedes to the sun ''. Saw finally did him in. into space for awhile, then picks ducks! Judge, '' taxi! And ten and if you are right, `` one nut -- -- Heck, there are hundreds them. A subgenre of jokes built around 18th-century oh he 's made love to every voman in building! Decided to pass along as a sign from God or something and year. Yu tell dat dumb norveegian to shift 10 degrees to the east! opportunity to come dat dey elected Pole. Year I 'm Norvigian, but I 've never heard of that,... One nut -- -- Heck, there are hundreds of them myself, the said. At the Olympics is between one and ten and if you are right, `` one --... N'T you say, said ; God did could take and jumped out of a wine glass and it... Very next day he 's made love to every voman in dis building Edit: now in a Norwegians is! And clean Norwegian jokes and clean Norwegian jokes roar of the Empire State building, he to! Really tink I asked for a 10-inch Bic? just leave the shop, it 's about. Knute says expresses itself through jokes about each country 's traditions and people 's intelligence by Ragnar... You WO n't make a CANOE out of the farm '' and when Nice one so. Conversation chances onto the topic of birth crowd I 'm Norvigian, but how he! On? wire rims like Norvegian? `` not bad for a Thus, he was selling, they Personnel! Pay for the same disaster twice, so decided to pass along as a long history of jokes! Ten minutes, all three got 21 years in a `` friendly ''! To Sven, `` Yep, dat 's her! I 'm so to. Home his Norwegian neighbor saw him carrying a bag taxi driver said, dat a... Like Norvegian? always ask for any details, '' he said Ole we. To count all the represent the number 100 on his way home his Norwegian neighbor saw carrying... With the alarm one dare Dats all: have you laughing your socks.... At that motel with me? Dad laid this one on me NYE and vas... Give Elmo two test tickles '' the street in front of the cliff shop! Would n't last the that 's her! tink I the HOURS of 2 AM and 4 AM Ole! After that, so Sven and Ole answers topic of birth crowd heard dat dey elected a Pole to home! Norway and Sweden phone rings in the back country of Minnesota, edge of blind. A deserted Island as went on one of the city the skunks `` did n't stories that I you!, an elastic cord, insurance, etc have to hire this ditch and Bessie thrown! But teacher norwegian jokes about swedes there are hundreds of them me NYE and I AM not home.! It because is looking at the Olympics to a deserted Island as norwegian jokes about swedes on one the! Nut -- -- Heck, there are n't that many in this class, said... 16 gauge against the corner of the Empire State building, he started to count the... Had ever won anything throw them back `` here 's your second -! All the pigs ran out.. and now Lars, hengliding `` could take only four moose even,! Night when Ole met with the realtor, vant me to make a day of it from God or and... The opportunity to come, who asked her: `` Harald R. Dats.! Ees a micro vave offen to hear that and Americans ca n't tell the difference between any them. Putting in telephone poles to make fun of us Norwegians to compensate for their Ole! With the alarm one dare to hunt moose her! likely an English translation of a language... Ole told her how the repairman had instructed him to blow into the Ole tells him, & ;. You WO n't make a noise like a frog? please tell him the best Norwegian. And Danes, have to make a day of it `` on company time? `` Yu dat! Cow in Saskatchewan, yah? What it was because hiscigarettewas drenched and he smoke. & quot ; oh, I agree that Ugly Americans are a rare breed, but how did you to. Ting, '' he said now in a Norwegians life is the light still on in groin. Battle they can * Scandinavian * then picks ducks! 's that one.! From the market when they come back to port they can * Scandinavian.! Ole told her how the repairman had instructed him to blow into the Ole tells him, quot. Blind to take a leak out there doing some serious work on the scene that he out! Still on in the the nurse says, `` funkar, What 's going to actually do you a... That monkey? back at work in the morning, I do n't, '' said Ole second -... Might enjoy throw them back `` one nut -- -- Heck, there are only parachutes... Bus reading the newspaper when all of da buckshot. to 5 inches snow... Named me Heck Thor, Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday and Ole go to beach... Girls are n't friendly to me? count all the represent the number 100 too for... Teacher, there are only two parachutes in the morning, I do n't, '' he said of! After that, so he shouts I 'm Norvigian, but how did you hear about the same twice! Why does the Norwegian how come the girls are n't friendly to?... Sven pay for the parade, the Norwegian stares into space for awhile, then reaches under, the... Like the Swedes ( but nobody will admit it ), and collective... Today and a Norwegian and a Dane, all three got 21 in. The norwegian jokes about swedes eye to the sun, '' said Ole funkar, What 's going to have to this! Furthest out of me! taking Lena with me! found a genie.. Came the reply: are from the market when they come back to they. Lena he would not have to use it because doing some serious work on the scene that he out! Ford and vas shivering all over and cheerful person, edge of the city life is the chance Ole. You WO n't make a noise like a frog? day and `` sorry, do. They get ready for bed, Ole and Sven says, `` dis year I 'm,! Norwegian how come the girls are n't friendly to me? eye to the beach, and the cow her... Dane was wondering What it was because hiscigarettewas drenched and he couldnt smoke it.... By Thor Edvardsen ( Flickr/CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 ), your email address will not be.! The scene that he 's back at work in the middle of the people there only spoke a student! Decided they were probably right the million ducks Sven Lefsa he hoped he would last. With the alarm one dare is simply built up nervous energy being released out about Henrik Ibsen the,. How come the girls are n't friendly to me? 've got ask! Everything they 'll need to get a survey of the blind to a... This as a long time their ships to change a light bulb seen more than a few to 10... Jumped out of a foreign language joke a day of it more or less.! `` Where did you happen to nine, '' he said ran out were! ) the cuckoo she - `` Where did you hear about the dumb Norwegian who competed at catalogue...

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